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Martha Dandridge Custis Washington was a reluctant patriot. Often eclipsed by her husband and his contributions to the United States, Martha was the woman behind the great statesman, the great general, the great president. She was raised to be a plantation mistress and would have remained happy at that occupation. Though she longed for home and the simple life of a Virginia lady, wife and mother, she easily took on the demanding role of First Lady, wife of the first president, and mother of the young United States.

Martha Dandridge was born on June 2, 1731 to John and Francis Jones Dandridge, owners of Chestnut Grove Plantation in New Kent County, Virginia. Martha, the oldest of eight children, was groomed throughout her early life to become the wife of a rich plantation owner of fine social standing. She fulfilled her upbringing at the age of nineteen, when on May 15, 1750, she married the wealthy and considerably older Daniel Parke Custis. The couple had four children, two of whom survived infancy: John (nicknamed Jacky) and Martha (lovingly called Patsy). Martha and her new family lived on the 17,500-acre Custis plantation, located on the banks of the Pumunkey River, in what was known as “The White House.”

Abruptly widowed at the age of 26 in July of 1757, Martha was left the sizeable task of not only raising her two children, but managing the plantation and vast fortune left to her by her husband. She supervised the plantation with great aptitude and skill.

Martha was now, thanks to her inheritance, the wealthiest woman in Virginia, and therefore, exceedingly desirable as a wife. Though wooed by many men after the end of her first year of mourning, she chose young George Washington, a distinguished officer of the French and Indian War and a member of the House of Burgesses, to be her husband. The couple was married on January 6, 1759 at Martha’s home, The White House.

Soon after the marriage, the family settled into their home, Washington’s plantation, Mount Vernon, along the Potomac River. Washington had already made several alterations to the house, outbuildings and grounds, but with Martha’s money, he could continue to advance the appearance and breadth of his plantation toward stately grace.

Washington, over six feet in stature, and Martha, only five feet tall, though comical in appearance as a couple, were close companions. When Martha wished to have Washington’s concentration fully on her, she would fist his lapels in both her hands and pull him down to her level. Washington also became a loving surrogate father to Jacky and Patsy, and later an adoring grandfather to Jacky’s children.

On June 19, 1773, Patsy, an epileptic, died following a particularly severe seizure. The next year, Jacky married Eleanor Calvert of Prince George’s County. Martha, still deeply grieving for Patsy, did not attend the wedding, which took place at the bride’s home, Mount Airy. Washington wrote that the loss had “reduced my poor wife to the lowest ebb of misery.”

In 1775, George Washington, then a member of the Second Continental Congress, accepted the command of the Continental Army. When her husband was criticized for taking up the American Colonies’ cause against the British, Martha replied, “My heart is made up; my heart is in the cause; George is right; he is always right.”

As Washington led the American revolt against the constraining British, Martha slipped easily back into her role as sole manager of Mount Vernon. She often traveled to Washington’s various campaign headquarters in Cambridge, Morristown, Philadelphia, Newburg and Valley Forge in the winters. There she not only offered support to her burdened husband, but knitted socks for the soldiers, entertained her husband’s officers and their wives, and visited the sick and wounded. She also campaigned in Philadelphia for money and provisions for Continental Soldiers in June of 1780.

The October 19, 1781 American victory at Yorktown was dampened for the Washingtons when Jacky, serving as aide to his second father, Washington, died of camp fever on November 5.

Even though shaded with grief, the prospect of retirement was pleasing to the Washingtons after the long years of uncertainty and fighting. And Mount Vernon was not entirely devoid of children; of Jacky’s four children, the two youngest, Eleanor “Nelly” Parke Custis and George Washington “Washy” Parke Custis, came to live with Martha and Washington at Mount Vernon. When their mother, Eleanor, remarried in 1783 and moved with the two older girls to Abingdon, Virginia, Nelly and Washy continued to live with their grandparents. Martha’s niece, Francis Basset, also settled at Mount Vernon in 1784. She eventually married Washington’s nephew, George Augustine Washington on October 15, 1785. The newly married couple continued their residence at Mount Vernon.

Washington persistently contributed to the new American nation, notably as president of the Constitutional Convention in 1787, and soon thereafter as President of the United States. Though both he and Martha wished to remain in retirement, Washington’s presidency, as Martha wrote, “...was not to be avoided.”

Washington traveled alone to New York and his inauguration day, April 30, 1789. Martha, Nelly and Washy followed on May 28, and took up residence at Number Three, Cherry Street in New York City. Their new lodgings were rented by Congress for the new President, as was the Presidential home in Philadelphia, to which the family moved in November, 1790. The closest Martha would ever come to anything resembling the present executive mansion, the White House, was the home of the same name which she and her first husband had shared on the Custis plantation.

As Washington labored to set an exemplary standard as President for the future of the United States and for the presidents to come, Martha established the unscripted duties of First Lady. Though she wrote without enthusiasm of her new role to the patriotic writer, Mercy Otis Warren, “I sometimes think that arrangement is not quite as it ought to have been, that I, who had much rather be at home, should occupy a place with which a great many younger and gayer women would be extremely pleased...” she entered into her new position with the same resourceful energy she used to single-handedly run her plantations. Washington presided over the new political government, while Martha developed the new social government. Quiet in demeanor and subtle in charm, she took on the difficult task of hosting politicians.

After Washington’s two terms as President, and Martha’s two terms as the most prominent and scrutinized political wife in America, the couple returned to their beloved Mount Vernon. Though no longer in office, Washington could not escape his role of Revolutionary War hero and famed President of the United States. The social burdens of her husband’s presidency seemed to follow Martha to Mount Vernon, as she and Washington were swamped with family, well-wishing friends and total strangers, all of whom Washington refused to turn away. The continuous visitors ate away the meals, wealth, peace and quiet of Mount Vernon.

George Washington finally found rest from his distinguished political career. In 1799, he rode through the rain while inspecting his vast property and became ill. He died on December 14. Martha, by his side until his last breath, declared, “...All is now over[.] I shall soon follow him! I have no more trials to pass through!” She was again so full of grief at the loss of one she loved that she could not be present at Washington’s funeral four days later. She could not bear to occupy the bedroom they had shared or visit her late husband’s study. She even removed the written evidence of their private existence together, by burning all their letters to one another.

Martha Washington did soon follow her husband to the grave. She had finally found the simple retirement she longed for, a retirement that only came to her in loneliness after George Washington’s death. After two and half years continuing to run Mount Vernon and enjoying the company of her grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nieces and nephews, Martha Washington died on May 22, 1802.

Martha Washington was the right hand, support and influence of America’s greatest founding father. With her wealth, she helped George Washington further his Mount Vernon into one of the finest and most famous plantations in Virginia. She ran Mount Vernon while he was away, but was not always content to stay at home, secure in her domestic affairs, while her husband fought for America’s freedom. Washington led the entire revolution against the superior British Army, but it was little Martha who upheld the greater Washington, and therefore, America. It was Martha’s money that promoted George Washington’s, and therefore, America’s cause. It was Martha’s life-blood, her son, Jacky who died in George Washington’s and America’s service. For eight years Martha oversaw the social side of her husband’s presidency, her gracious charm and quiet elegance shaping the young United States government as much as her husband’s policies did. Even after Washington left office, she continued to host throngs of people grasping for a chance to meet the first President of the United States. George and Martha Washington waged the American Revolution together and were the victory of the Revolution embodied, as together they founded the young United States.

Martha Washington surrendered her life to the United States, its people and its posterity with the same dignity and grace as her husband did. She suffered in many more ways than he, for standing in the shadow of the great George Washington, her sacrifices were more understated. Yet Martha Washington was an army in herself, as she stood behind her husband, with her heart in the cause.